the lolly pop guy & frank swettenham

last wednesday pegi konsert amal nasyid kat CAC ngan kinah. our 1st gal's nite out without nad ilam & nab. konsert tu bertujuan mengutip derma tuk bina sebuah kompleks tahfiz kat sabah demi memelihara aqidah segelintir anak2 islam sabah in future. diilhamkan dan dinaungi oleh nazrey johany.

konsert tu agak menghiburkan tapi kurang happening. bila artis nasyid suh nyanyi or tepuk sama2 tak ramai yg ikut. kalau camtu baik tak yah datang konsert. baik korang yg maleh nak enjoy tu dok jer kat rumah dengar cd!

pas habes konsert pegi withdraw duit. best giler bila ptptn yg diwar-warkan msk january next year msk pada hari berkenaan. rasa blessed sangat. disebabkan purse hampir tinggal habuk kerana ptptn belum msk time ktorang beli ticket, ktorang cuma derma beberapa ringgit jer tuk pembinaan kompleks tahfiz tu. tapi allah balas dengan 2000 lebih dlm masa singkat. dan tak semena2 allowance halaqah pun msk gak. alhamdulillah.. gembira dan bersyukur tak terhingga!tambahan pulak skrg mmg nak pakai duit tuk beli kitab2.

semua subjek2 baru syariah dalam 5th year ni penuh dengan kejutan. membuatkan aku rasa betapa bertuahnya dipilih allah tuk menuntut ilmu ini. biarpun rugi setahun coz lewat buat chambering tapi semua tu tak ternilai oleh ilmu2 baru yang bakal terisi sepanjang 5th year nanti. rugilah mereka yg tidak berpeluang sambung 5th year. moga diberi kesempatan di masa akan datang...

lepas withdraw duit p pekena teh tarik kat cafe HS. aku belanja nak celebr8 dpt ptptn.hehe

sambil minum ktorang borak2 cket. ada la gak citer pasal lolly pop guy. kinah ckp de org jmpe dia kt aikol. aku rasa x puas ati. nape aku x nampak2 pun beliau???

oh yea mesti ada yg tertanya- tanya sapakah gerangan lolly pop guy ni? beliau sebenarnya latest crush aku. hehe malu plak ;)setakat yg aku tau, beliau ni aku categorykan sbg gentleman. good looking gak orgnya. pada beliau aku rasa lain cket. mm... i feel like dating him! ngee ;)

da la tanak citer banyak pasal beliau. nanti kena terjah ngan melody haru biru plak jadiknye.

selepas berkongsi rasia masing2 serba sedikit ktorang pun blah. sampai jer bilik rasa ngantuk sangat. time tu da lebih kul 12 mlm kalau tak silap la. so trus tidur pas borak2 cket. good nyte rumates!

esoknyer pas clas ktorang plan nak bayor fees tp cancel. no giliran kat bank yg ktorang kena tunngu 300 lebih! bapak jenuh kematu bontot nak tunggu. aku ajak kinah p com lab tapi dia came out with better idea guess what??? library...hehe.

ktorang pun serbu la bahagian leisure reading. kinah sapu la beberapa buah novel antaranya pride and prejudice. karya agung jane austin yg diminatinya dan dicari-carinya teramat la sgt!

aku plak lebih minat bacaan sejarah politik auto biography dsb. so aku sambar 5 buah buku. antaranya yg menarik perhatian aku ialah buku bertajuk "PERIHAL ORANG MELAYU" or "MALAY SKETCHES". buku berkenaan ditulis oleh frank swettenham, salah seorang resident british yg terkenal dan terawal menjejak kaki ke tanah melayu. buku tu diterjemah oleh dr zuraida ibrahim dari UKM.

menurut synopsis, buku ni dapat membantu pembaca memahami keadaan politik, ekonomi dan sosial org melayu pada ketika itu dari perspective org british. so leh la compare dengan sekarang.

aku pun excited nak baca buku tu. sampai jer bilik aku rehat kejap. lestu terus baca buku tu. sangat menarik! berbeza sgt cerita sejarah dalam buku tu dengan sejarah lam buku text. gaya bahasa dia agak puitis especially bila beliau menggambarkan keindahan flora dan fauna tanah melayu ketika fajar menyinsing or sunrise. kecian kat beliau. cib baek british hantar dia ke tanah melayu. kalau tidak sampai ke mati la tak dapat nikmati sunrise yg paling indah kat tanah melayu ni. to be frank, aku rasa muak jugak dengan ayat puitis tersebut. tapi cerita2 sejarah yg ditulis dalam bentuk yg berbeza dari buku text la yg menarik aku tuk terus tekun baca buku tu sampai ke rumah kakak aku.

kesimpulan dari buku tu orang melayu adalah bangsa yg penuh kesopanan dan kelembutan selagi tidak dihina maruah diri dan keluarganya. orang melayu sangat kuat pegangan akidahnya walaupun ramai yg berjudi dan tidak solat sehinggakan habes gave up missioneries yg try nak sebar christianity kat tanah melayu.

tapi tu semua dulu... sekarang ni kemodenan meragut kesopanan, kelembutan dan kekuatan aqidah orang melayu. inilah juga akibat penjajahan yg membuatkan orang melayu leka mengejar kesenangan dunia. tak kisah punya anak yg tak pandai baca al quran asalkan anak itu cemerlang akademiknya dan kerjayanya. tak peduli pada nasib hukum syarak yg dipandang hina oleh setengah ummat islam di malaysia. tak membantah perlaksaan common law yg nyata sangat lemah dan penuh ketidakadilan walaupun telah merdeka lebih 50 tahun...

selesai membaca dan menganalisa karya frank swettenham tersebut tiba2 aku tersedar. rupanya pada hari itu kerana terlalu asyik dengan frank swettenham menyusuri kurun ke-19, aku terlupa pada lolly pop guy!

goodbye senior year n welcome super senior year!

alhamdulillah da dpt check result. aku yakin allah akan tolong hadapi kesusahan sal pw tu. walaupun pointer tak se gah mana, tapi ada naik sikit. alhamdulillah skali lagi! da grad yey... yey!!!

so what's next?

here comes the super senior year! 5th year la... agak kecewa tak dpt buat chambering cam kwn2 lain. lambat lagi la nak dapat drive kete sendiri nih. lambat lagi la nak kawen nih. hhehe

hopefully this super senior year would be great n most happening!

patience!

sampai tika dan saat ini aku still x dapat check result. da lebih sebulan tahan rasa anxiety nih. aku masih lagi besabar...

siang tadi aku pegi anr tuk dapatkan new pw. abang yg incharge tu ckp pw yg dia bg jumaat lepas still valid. so aku balik n try activate lg skali pw tu. still x leh. aku masih lagi besabar...

aku sabar coz aku tau ini ujian allah. aku juga tau allah takkan timpakan ujian yg tak mampu ditanggung hambanya. oleh itu aku masih lagi besabar...

aku cuba tampil seceria dan setenang yg mungkin walau di hati dan fikiran berkecamuk. sampai da termimpi mdm nik haizam masa nap td. aku tak tau langsung result exam tu. pass ke aku? fail ke? na'uzubillah...da aku masih lagi besabar...

siang tadi jugak jumpe faisya kat anr. dia dtg buat clearance. aku bgtau sal prob nih. dia de tried bg solution. tq so much! so aku pun try solution tu ngan penuh debaran. well no need to guess. it stil didnt work. aku pun masih lagi besabar...

penantian tu memang satu penyeksaan. da beribu kali aku hadapi seksaan ni. tapi yg ni paling teruk skali so far. lagu "patience" nyanyian take that tu sentiasa bermain di corong telinga. camne pun aku masih lagi besabar dan akan tetap sabar!

mudah mudahan kesudahannya baik. amin...

goodbye sweet sour & spicy...

i've been having stomach ache n diarrhea since september. at first i thought it was food poisoning. i took traditional medication but it did not cure. frens urged me to see doctor but i declined for some reasons.

just b4 the ultimate final exam i found out that spicy food was one of the causes. confirmed! can u imagine how hard for me to accept it n convince myself that i must stop eating spicy food? it was a painful fact. im a malay. i like spicy food.

i got no choice. for the sake of the exam i tried avoiding spicy food. i ate porridge almost every day. huhu eventually, i lost my appetite. when i saw food that i used to love i did x feel like eating n i did x hungry at all. i ate very little just to avoid gastric. the 1st week of the final exam i lost 3kgs. then i began to worry.

after the final exam i lost another 2kgs. at law grad dinner i ate like a skinny anorexia. the food wasnt spicy but i did x have appetite. the rm50 i paid for the dinner was unworthy! deep inside i hate seeing my frens enjoying their meals!

at home all the pain n diarrhea gone. i got back my appetite. yey!!!!!!!

unfortunetly, early this week it came back n it's getting worse. i finally went to the hospital. alhamdulillah now i feel better. diarrhea stops but not the stomach pain. it's not bcoz of the medication prescribed totally. it's becoz of this decision i've made. the most difficult one.

after all of these sufferings, i finally realize n accept it. i want to be healthy. coz i have the rest of my life to go thru. i have no idea how long it's going to be but know life is sweet sour & spicy too.

so, goodbye sweet sour n spicy food...

PEDIH!

Aku sentiasa berdoa aku graduate one day. Bila sampai hari tu nanti aku mesti hepi. So mende tu sangat la motivate aku tuk hadapi final sem yang sangat mencabar ni. Nak jer cepat2 habeskan blajar.

Tapi bila aku graduate aku pasti akan tepisah dengan my beloved incredible friends. Da tak sehaluan lagi coz masing2 dan tak squeeze in lam keta ilham tapi naik keta sendiri. Hehe. Bila sampai detik tu nanti walaupun dapat naik n drive keta sendiri, aku mesti sedih. So mende tu sangat la memilukan aku. nak jer wish rumah ktorang semua seblah menyeblah jer.

Camne pun aku tau hari tersebut mesti datang. Detik tersebut pasti berlaku. So aku malas nak pikir sangat. Tanak buang masa yang ada wondering how it might end coz definitely it will end.

Dan pada 20/11/09 hari tersebut pun tiba. Detik tersebut pun berlaku. Aku rasa numb mulanya. Sebab tak cukup tido. Hehe. Bila bgn tdo pagi tu aku cuba manfaatkan sebanyak mungkin masa yang berbaki beberapa jam tu ngan dorang semua.

Mula2 Nabilah yang blah dulu. Time tu aku try sedaya mungkin tak nangis coz mata da pedih sebab Aku ngantok sangat n da nangis a few times before ngan wawa, yah n zeal. Lagi pun Nabhi akan buat chambering kat key el ni. Ada chance lagi nak jumpa dia selalu.

Pas jer babai Nabhi terus rushing ke bilik nad kinah n ilham. Nak babai Nad plak… sempat la borak2 cket ngan parents nad sambil tunggu dia load barang2 semua lam keta.

Tiba2 jer hujan rintik mula menitis as a sign for Nad to go. Nad plan buat chambering kat negeri kelahiran dia, Johor. So it’l be very hard to meet her la after this. Aku tarik nafas dalam2. Tanak nangis coz malu kat parents Nad n adik dia. Kinah pun salam n peluk Nad. Entah camne dorang nangis plak. Aduh… lemah betul!

Lestu turn aku plak. Pecah la empangan air mata yang sememang nya da overloads ni. Ntah mana la datang nye air mata sebanyak tu aku pun tak tau. Tak penah plak aku reserve.

Pas jer Nad blah aku stil rasa nak nangis lagi. Walaupun Kinah ajak sembang2 ngan dia aku stil rasa nak nangis lagi. Camne nih? pasni turn Ilham plak. Esok nye kinah. Bengkak la mata. Silap2 mata korea aku ni da tak leh buka terus nanti.

Solution?

Aku balik ke bilik aku. kosong jer. Mira n Ja da blah. Kalsom yang patut nye jadi penunggu bilik ntah pegi mane. So aku utilized bilik yang kosong tu fully. Aku tanak tahan lagi. I wanna let it go coz I need to move on with my life too. So, aku nangis sepuas- puasnye. Sampai screaming n teresak- esak. Like a child...hehe

Walaupun b4 this aku da penah lalui detik2 perpisahan camni, tapi kali ni lain plak rasa dan impact nya. Like ‘the purest of pain’ tu. This time aku rasa lost sangat. aku rasa paling sakit. Paling pedih!

Dalam Masa 2-3 Hari

banyak insiden terjadi sepanjang 2-3 hari ni. antaranya:

ahad: 25/10
dengan gembiranya aku teman nad p tgk lee min ho kat sg wang plaza. tu la 1st time aku jejak mall tu. tu la 1st time aku naik monorail. tu la 1st time aku besesak-sesak sampai sakit badan n ponteng class on the next day. tu la 1st time aku berdiri for nearly 5 hours (bongok betul!)
semata2 nak tgk laki korea yang kelihatan pretty pada hari tu.
tapi yang tak best nyer orang2 yang meniaga kat situ x friendly sangat. lagi satu food dia memang aku was was nak makan kecuali kfc. huhu

selain tu aku sedih coz man u kalah 2-0 ngan liverpool. aku plan nak tgk match tu tp terlupa plak.

isnin
kat surat kabar heboh sal nik aziz mintak pas buat egm. so mula la puak2 umno bersuka ria coz pas yang slalu jer belagak kuat di ambang perpecahan seperti umno gak. dulu pas hepi umno bergolak sekarang rasakan la. korang nak politik cara islam tapi korang bersorak menyaksikan perpecahan. dari sudut ni PAS = UMNO. so cepat2 bertaubat. perpecahan akan memburukkan lg imej Islam. so plz fix it!

selasa
aku tekejut dengan berita jambatan gantung runtuh kat kuala Dipang. beberapa murid dipercayai lemas. inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un... ya allah ampunkan lah kami andai musibah ni berlaku atas dosa2 kami. dan kurniakanlah pahala bagi mangsa dan ahli2 kelurga mereka yang menghadapai bencana ini dengan tabah dan sabar. amin...

kat luar negara plak kes si karadzic the butcher gagal dapat tangguh perbicaraan dia kat ICC di the hague. mudah mudahan dia disabitkan dengan tuduhan yang dikenakan atas dia.

kat kuwait plak nak diwajibkan pemakaian hijab. ada yang sokong ada yang bantah. aku? aku sokong tapi make sure hikmah pemakaian hijab disebar luas dan difahami terlebih dahulu k.

ada ORANG PAS pantang di tegur

aku decide tuk tulis post ni pas baca article kat harakah online beberapa minit lepas.article ni bertajuk "Aziz Bari patut bincang kepincangan undang-undang" ditulis oleh seorang bernama azmi yusof. beliau kurang berpuas hati dengan komen yang dibuat oleh Prof terhadap kepimpinan PAS.

aku kerap ikut tulisan or komen2 Prof dalam banyak constitutional issue especially kes perak. opinion dia banyak menyebelahi PR maka senang la hati orang PR coz ada constitutional expert yang berani tuk voice out the truth.

antara isi kandungan dalam article mr. azmi ialah " Profesor Dr Abdul Aziz Bari sewajarnya membicarakan kepincangan dalam pilihan raya kecil (PRK) Bagan Pinang dari sudut undang-undang, bukannya perubahan kepimpinan PAS".jelas sekali beliau seolah-olah sangat berharap Prof akan mengulas PRK tersebut dari sudut undang2 tetapi sebaliknya yang berlaku. comment Prof menurut beliau berkenaan kepimpinan PAS adalah tidak seimbang.

mungkin beliau tidak dapat trima pandangan Prof yang luar dari skop ilmu constitution tapi bagi aku Prof walaupun seorang constitutional expert ada hak tuk comment sesuatu isu walaupun di luar skop undang2. Prof, aku percaya memberikan pandangan berdasarkan pengalaman, pemerhatian dan ilmu yang beliau miliki. syabas Prof kerana berani menyuarakan pendapat tersebut!

berdasarkan pembacaan aku terhadap article2 yang pro PAS termasuk la yang ni, aku simpulkan ada sesetengah orang PAS or Pro-PAS tak leh trima kritikan terhadap pemimpin2 dorang. seolah pemimpin dorang maksum. aku respect dan sokong semua ulama2 dan polisi islam yang dibawa PAS tapi apa yang aku tak gembira dan hampir fed up ngan PAS ni ialah orang2 fanatik yang tak leh trima kritikan kepada kepimpinan mereka. even ada pemimpin dan orang2 BN lebih open dan matang dalam mengkritik kepimpinan dorang.ingatlah walaupun pemimpin PAS terdiri dari kalangan ulama ada kalanya mereka juga buat kesilapan kerana mereka bukan maksum. sebab tu la pintu taubat tu sentiasa terbuka tuk semua manusia.

hidup PROF AZIZ BARI!!!!!!!!

beyond "kudrat"

i've been thru a lot for this semester
most of the time i really wanna cry
but
i still walk steadily and smile
like nothing happen
like everything is fine

i question myself isn't that pretending?
the reply is no!
becoz i let go the past
i let the new hope takes place
don wanna bother the pressure to much
juz wanna enjoy the final semester to the fullest

but today i broke down
no one comes to fix me
tears eventully running
no one comes to dry them
like i always wish
coz no one knows the pain inside

i succumb...
i feel frustrated and hopeless...

I am stronger! (dedicated to the test II UF)

When my dream turns fantasy
When my hope just of no use
When my mind depressed
When my heart broken

I told myself that I am still alive


When the pain is all around
When the cure is nowhere to be found
When the life is incredibly miserable
When the world is crushing down on me

I told myself that I am still standing


When everything is vague
When everything is not right
When everything is a mess
When everything is suck

I told myself that I am still doing alright


When I don’t know how to react
When I don’t know what to say
When I don’t know anything anymore
When I don’t know which path is the best

I told myself that I am still being patient



When I need a faith to hold on to
When I need a shoulder to cry on
When I need a person to hug
When I need a smile to stay calm

I told myself that I am still going to get it


When I let off the frustrating
When I thought it’s not too late
When I believe success is ahead
When I left alone to handle all these

I told myself that I am still stronger!

Israeli youths reject army call-up (al jazeera, 13th oct 2009)

More than 80 Israeli students have announced their refusal to serve in the Israeli military because of what they call their nation's track-record of oppression in the occupied territories.

The conscientious objectors issued a letter declaring their determination not to join up during a news conference in Tel Aviv in protest against the government's policies towards Gaza and the West Bank.

"We cannot ignore the truth - the occupation is a violent, racist, inhumane, illegal, undemocratic, immoral and an extreme condition that presents a mortal danger to both peoples," the letter read.

"We, who were educated on the values of liberty, justice, honesty and peace, cannot accept it."

It was signed by 84 high school students.

Four of the signatories at the news conference on Monday said they were aware that refusing to enlist would land them in jail, but noted that they were acting out of loyalty to their values and those of the society they live in.

"We were born into the reality of the occupation and many in our generation see it as something 'natural'," Or Ben-David, a 19-year-old from Jerusalem, said.

Ben-David is legally obliged to join the army at the beginning of November.

"But I opened my eyes to what was around me and became critical of the Israeli society. I visited in the West Bank and met with Palestinians, it changed my view of things."

Jail sentence

When asked whether she would do a different kind of public service, another refusenik - Amelia Marcovich - said she considered public service and volunteering to be a lifelong activity and not just something that you do for two or three years because you have to.

"I hope that sitting in jail won't dampen my desire to contribute to the society and that I'll keep on volunteering afterward," she said.

Another objector, Effie Brenner, a student, said he is refusing against his parent's wishes. "My parents reacted really badly when I told them I wouldn't join the army. They threatened to kick me out of house," he said.

Nevertheless, he said it was easier to do three years of military service than to stand up and make a statement and even sit in prison for what you believe in.

"One of the reasons I refuse to join is because I want the Palestinians to know that not all Israelis are in favour of the occupation and that some people are willing to make a sacrifice to end it," Brenner said.

"Palestinians who have heard of what I'm doing have expressed thanks and encouragement."

Brenner said the group had already employed legal representation and they were ready to face the military trials awaiting them.

Similar letters have been publicised over the years by high school seniors slated to enlist ever since the first one was written in 1979.

kelu

selalu jer aku jadi camni bila buka blog
tiba-tina jer ilang semua mende yang ada lam palotak
penah aku pikir nak tulis dulu then paste jer kat blog ni
tapi tak menjadi gak
bila jari jemari sentuh jer keyboard
rasa macam tak tau mana nak mula
kelu!

adakah ini satu masalah?
aku tanya diri sendiri yg langsung tak de jawapan
takde kepastian
dan masih lagi aku
kelu!

aku terfikir ada kebaikan ke?
aku tanya lah diri sendiri yang langsung terus berdiam
terus menyepi
dan aku tetap juga
kelu!

taking PIL test on the bench

selalaunya bila orang sebut pasal test aku terbayang venue dia moot court, class atau LTB. hari ni aku ngan Syikin kena amek test PIL coz ritu ktorang kena kuarantin.
test tu scheduled at 1-2pm. pas abes jer class pil, ktorang begegas ikut prof balik ke bilik dia. otw tu sempat lg keling2 kat notes.

sampai jer kat bilik prof suh ktorang wat kat pvt law dept tp x leh coz diorang nak tutup la.time tu lunch hour.
so da xde choice prof suh ktorang p buat kat mana2 clas yang dekat ngan opis dia.

"dont refer to your book except the Statutes ok!" pesan prof seblum ktorang gerak.

masa tu da 2.15pm aku ngan syikin pun masuk la lam satu class ni. buaT la test tu dengan se focus yg mungkin. sedar x sedar dah kul 2, lecturer lain de class kat ctu. so dengan kelam kabutnyer ktorang blah.

disebabkan ktorang stat lambat so sambung plak buat test tu kat atas bench kat luar class tu. susuah sangat nak tulis, aku duduk jer atas lantai and menulis atas bench. bench tu belubang so korang agak la camne tulisan aku pastu.

ni la first time aku buat test kat open space camtu on the bench plak tu. hehe

RAYA DTG LAGI!-PERUTUSAN SEMPENA AIDIL FITRI

KERANA KITA SEMUA MANUSIA
ADA KELEBIHAN DAN KEKURANGAN

KERANA KITA SEMUA MANUSIA
TAK DAPAT LARI DARI MELAKUKAN KESILAPAN

KERANA AKU JUGA MANUSIA
YANG LEMAH DAN TIDAK SEMPURNA
YANG ADAKALA BERTINDAK DI LUAR KEWARASAN
MELANGKAUI ADAB DAN BATASAN...

MAKA ALLAH YANG MAHA PENCIPTA
ALLAH YANG MAHA AGUNG
MAHA PEMURAH DAN PENYAYANG
LAGI MAHA PENGAMPUN...

MENGURNIAKAN KITA AIDILFITRI
AGAR SALING MEMAAFI
SALING JUGA MENGINSAFI
KEKURANGAN PADA DIRI...

SEMPENA HARI PENUH RAHMAT
PENUH KEGEMBIRAAN DAN KECERIAAN
AKU MOHON AMPUN DAN MAAF
KEPADA
IBU BAPA, AHLI KELUARGA, SAUDARA MARA,
GURU-GURU DARI PASTI KE UNIVERSITI
SAHABAT HANDAI, KENALAN, DAN TEMAN-TEMAN
ATAS SEGALA SALAH SILAP
YANG MENGGURIS HATI DAN PERASAAN
DALAM SEDAR ATAU TIDAK
MOHON AGAR JANGAN DISIMPAN DAN DIDENDAM...

AKU JUGA
SEBAGAI HAMBA-NYA YANG MAHA PENGAMPUN
AMAT TERBUKA HATI
MEMAAFKAN SEMUA KESALAHAN DAN KESILAPAN
SEMUA MANUSIA TERHADAP AKU.

PEACE =)

pergi , mungkinkah akan kembali?

pagi hening 26 august. aku jalan ke bus stop. perasan berbaur. gemuruh, excited n mcm2 lg. ada test jpj tuk keta pg tu.aku repeat coz 1st attempt failed!.hehe.
seperti hari2 lain, aku bawak beg yang aku slalu guna tu. ada beberapa buku antaranya kitab al wajiz n acts lam beg tu, termasuk stationeries,purse, handpnone dan beberapa barang lagi.
sampai bus stop aikol, da pukul 7.45. ada 2 org sister kat situ. sorang pakai mask sorang lg tak.tp takde plak kete cikgu naim yg ditugaskan tuk amek aku ke SKEM, tmpt test jpj bekenaan dijalankan.mmg aku da agak dia akan lambat. stakat aku amek lesen ni, cuma skali dua je kut cikgu2 ni dtg awal.daripada terus buang masa, aku pun baca notes tentang steps time test nnti.aku baca dengan tekun.aku cuba digest betul2. biar tak ilang dari palotak at least tuk hari tu jer.
tak semena-mena perut aku meragam.aku tgk jam da kul 8.00.ta[pi cikgu tak gak muncul2 bersama kete kancil dia tu.aku try tahan. tp cam tak leh tahan je. tak lama kemudian dia da mula memulas-mulas. mals nak pikir panjang aku pun blah. lintas jalan trus ke aikol. kat citu jer leh dapat toilet terdekat. on the way ke aikol tu aku msg cikgu naim " cikgu sy p tandas jap. sakit perut".
selesai mententeramkan perut yg meragam tu, aku naik balik ke bus stop tu. tak de gak kete cikgu naim dan cikgu naim tu skali. sister yang 2 org td tu ada lg kat ctu. ni mesti tunggu bas ni. if dia nak naik cab mesti da lama blah coz td bnyk gak cab kosong yg lalu kat ctu. aku senyum kat sister yg pakai mask tu coz duduk tak jauh drpd aku. dia senyum balik, aku rase la, sebab nampak pipi dia naik.aku tgk jam tuk ke 100 kali. dekat 8.15 dah. mane la cikgu naim ni...???
disebabkan esoknya tu ada test usul fiqh, aku pun kluarkan kitab al wajiz. try hafal topic al- khas. tu lebih baik dari buang mase jual muke kat bas stop tu. tak lama kemudian cikgu ngan kete kancil dia pun tiba. dgn excited nye aku pun trus naik kete kancil cikgu. dok kat seat blakang nagn sorang sister yg cikgu da amek dulu coz seat depan di occupy oleh anak cikgu yg sifat dan features dia hampir 90% sebijik cam cikgu. pastu cikgu amek lg sorang kat bulatan dpn grandstairs. fooh! berhimpit la ktorang mcm dalam tin sadin.
sampai kat SKEM, trus dgr briefing lestu amek giliran. asal nye no 2 tp jd no 1 coz dak no 1 dtg lambat! ya allah gementar bertambah 900%. aku baca doa lam ayat ke 10 surah al kahfi and beberapa doa lg. aku mesti pass test ni, aku berazam.
lepas 15 minit nama aku pun dipanggil. kena ngan penguji wanita. alamak! camne ni, ritu yang failed tu ngan penguji wanita la. aku mula rasa x sedap ati. tp aku kuatkan tekad. aku da berdoa. aku akan buat sebaik mungkin. keputusannya aku serah kan pada Allah Yang Maha Kaya dan Maha Berkuasa
alhamdulillah 'ala kulli hal... aku pass! rasa cam nak lompat. terima kasih kepada penguji wanita tersebut.
pastu dgn gembira bukan kepalang aku msg ahli keluarga dan teman- teman. nak tepon ayah, handphone yg aku bwk tu tak dak plak no ayah. hopefully kakak aku da tlg bgtau kat mak ayah...
cikgu hantar ktorang balik ke uia kul 10.30. budak yang cikgu amek last skali td tu pass. budak yang cikgu amek sebelum aku tadi tu fail jalan raya. ktorang pun citer la kat cikgu xperiences masing2 in which i believed more or less same je cam dak2 lain gak.
sampai uia aku lepak kat com lab jap. pastu pegi class pil kul 12.00 kul 1.00 balik bilik coz next class kul 5. ptg tu ada talk by prof young tuk jurisp sal law & morality. since aku tak amek jurisp aku fikir banyak kali nak p ke tak. akhirnye sampai bilik aku baring. kerana godaan katil dan bantal yg best tu, aku pun decided tanak p talk tu. so aku tido.
aku sedar time tu da nak dekat asar. astaghfirullah... terlepas solat zohor! td ada set alarm takkan tak bunyi kut? aku try ingat balik. ya allah aku ada tersedar time alatrm bunyi td.tp lepas off kan alarm tu aku ttdo balik rupenye. aku istighfar lg. berkali2.
lepas solat n mandi aku baca quran. malas nak turun beli juadah berbuka. makan jer la apa yg ada seperti kuih muih n biskut. paling penting nak bagi makan pada spiritual aku yg da lama kelaparan coz sejak ramadhan start baru few times aku baca quran.
before turun bilik 1.6 di mana tempat bersemayam kawan2 aku, aku teringat nak bawa al wajiz. aku cari atas meja xde. tak mungkin aku bawak ke skem coz mase tunggu cikgu amek kat skem td, aku nak baca tp kitab tu xde lam beg. time tu aku assumed kitab tu aku tinggal kat bilik. tp skrg xde la plak. aku pujuk ati gelisah.maybe tinggal kat bilik 1.6 kut...
dekat nak buka puasa aku ke bilik 1.6. memang rutin buka puasa kat ctu. sampai jer aku trus carik al wajiz kat compmnt kinah, nad n ilham tp xde. aku da cuak. aku naik balik ke bilik aku. cari lg skali. xde gak. ya allah... esok de test. mane ilangnyer kitab tu?dugaan atau kifarah dosa td ni...? aku merintih dalam hati.
lepas buka puasa dapat la cket clue. aku da mula tringat baca dan hafal topic al Khas. tp di mana dan bila? aku cuba ingat perlahan2. Ya allah! dalam samar2 aku teringat bus stop, sister yang pakai mask, toilet aikol dan cikgu naim...

kim bam will be mine.amin...possible?

ntah aku pun tak sure possible or impossible.tetiba jer rasa jatuh hati kat dia.crush jer kut...? no way!seeing him i forgot sean connery, hugh jackman, matt damon and mr S. so memang da betul2 suke dia. nak becinta ngan dia.ahaks! wajah dia cute n ada riak2 cool. aku suka senyuman dia yang lebih manis dari madu tu! if dapat becinta ngan dia kan best. tiap hari tak stress.nak naik angin pun tak boleh bila tengok muka sweet n cute camtu!

chef, legal advisor, tutor & baby sitter

ke empat- empat jawatan tersebut adalah pekerjaan aku sepanjang cuti ni may b... aku buat dengan rela hati nak serve family yg da banyak bekorban tuk aku... CHEF sejak aku balik rumah keje masak memasak serah pada aku mcm citer labu labi jer takde la sedap sangat masakan aku kadang2 telebih garam,gula,asam dsb... tp aku bersyukur mak slalu support aku! time masakan aku tak sedap beliau beri kritikan membina if kat hell's kitchen da lama kena maki hamun kut! LEGAL ADVISOR mentang2 la amek LLB kat iium famly aku x pernah jemu tanya tentang current issues esp krisis kat perak la... penat jugak nak terang ntah betul ntah tidak wallahu 'alam... sometimes aku bagi la few info penting sal undang2 kat malaysia boleh ni supaya mereka dapat berhati- hati... TUTOR memandangkan la ni time ujian pertengahan tahun aku dipertanggungjawabkan memantau dan membantu anak2 buah aku blajo... nak dijadikan cerita satu hari aku ajar ler anak buah aku ni multification ntah cane aku da telupa jalan kira tuk 4568 multiply 123 malu giler! kat diri sendiri kene refer kat textbook balik cib baek anak buah aku x prasan coz aku pandai cover... BABY SITTER tugas ni paling mencabar! nak basuh kencing berak anak2 buah aku suap makanan diorang... kalau diorang jenis food lover cam aku ok gak ini jenis food hater nampak nasik cam nampak antu! food yg tak bergizi cam eskrim, snack dsb x suruh pun diorang bantai yang baby tu pun tumpang makan skali sampai licin... pape pun aku anggap kerjaya ini sebagai praktikal mudah-mudahan bila ada anak sendiri nanti takla kekok sangat amin...

tido rumah tok

abeh ler aku mlm ni tok ajak tdo rmh dia mlm ni ml semalam aku da tolak ingatkan selamat la rupenye rini dia ajak lagi... aduh...!!!

'Toxic waste' behind Somali piracy

Somali pirates have accused European firms of dumping toxic waste off the Somali coast and are demanding an $8m ransom for the return of a Ukranian ship they captured, saying the money will go towards cleaning up the waste. The ransom demand is a means of "reacting to the toxic waste that has been continually dumped on the shores of our country for nearly 20 years", Januna Ali Jama, a spokesman for the pirates, based in the semi-autonomous region of Puntland, said. "The Somali coastline has been destroyed, and we believe this money is nothing compared to the devastation that we have seen on the seas." The pirates are holding the MV Faina, a Ukrainian ship carrying tanks and military hardware, off Somalia's northern coast. According to the International Maritime Bureau, 61 attacks by pirates have been reported since the start of the year. While money is the primary objective of the hijackings, claims of the continued environmental destruction off Somalia's coast have been largely ignored by the regions's maritime authorities. Dumping allegations Ahmedou Ould-Abdallah, the UN envoy for Somalia confirmed to Al Jazeera the world body has "reliable information" that European and Asian companies are dumping toxic waste, including nuclear waste, off the Somali coastline. "I must stress however, that no government has endorsed this act, and that private companies and individuals acting alone are responsible," he said The pirates are holding the MV Faina off Somalia's northern coast [Reuters]Allegations of the dumping of toxic waste, as well as illegal fishing, have circulated since the early 1990s. But evidence of such practices literally appeared on the beaches of northern Somalia when the tsunami of 2004 hit the country. The UN Environment Programme (UNEP) reported the tsunami had washed up rusting containers of toxic waste on the shores of Puntland. Nick Nuttall, a UNEP spokesman, told Al Jazeera that when the barrels were smashed open by the force of the waves, the containers exposed a "frightening activity" that has been going on for more than decade. "Somalia has been used as a dumping ground for hazardous waste starting in the early 1990s, and continuing through the civil war there," he said. "European companies found it to be very cheap to get rid of the waste, costing as little as $2.50 a tonne, where waste disposal costs in Europe are something like $1000 a tonne. "And the waste is many different kinds. There is uranium radioactive waste. There is lead, and heavy metals like cadmium and mercury. There is also industrial waste, and there are hospital wastes, chemical wastes – you name it." Nuttall also said that since the containers came ashore, hundreds of residents have fallen ill, suffering from mouth and abdominal bleeding, skin infections and other ailments. "We [the UNEP] had planned to do a proper, in-depth scientific assessment on the magnitude of the problem. But because of the high levels of insecurity onshore and off the Somali coast, we are unable to carry out an accurate assessment of the extent of the problem," he said. However, Ould-Abdallah claims the practice still continues. "What is most alarming here is that nuclear waste is being dumped. Radioactive uranium waste that is potentially killing Somalis and completely destroying the ocean," he said. Toxic waste Ould-Abdallah declined to name which companies are involved in waste dumping, citing legal reasons. But he did say the practice helps fuel the 18-year-old civil war in Somalia as companies are paying Somali government ministers to dump their waste, or to secure licences and contracts. "There is no government control ... and there are few people with high moral ground ... [and] yes, people in high positions are being paid off, but because of the fragility of the TFG [Transitional Federal Government], some of these companies now no longer ask the authorities – they simply dump their waste and leave." Ould-Abdallah said there are ethical questions to be considered because the companies are negotiating contracts with a government that is largely divided along tribal lines. "How can you negotiate these dealings with a country at war and with a government struggling to remain relevant?" In 1992, a contract to secure the dumping of toxic waste was made by Swiss and Italian shipping firms Achair Partners and Progresso, with Nur Elmi Osman, a former official appointed to the government of Ali Mahdi Mohamed, one of many militia leaders involved in the ousting of Mohamed Siad Barre, Somalia's former president. At the request of the Swiss and Italian governments, UNEP investigated the matter. Both firms had denied entering into any agreement with militia leaders at the beginning of the Somali civil war. Osman also denied signing any contract. Mafia involvement' However, Mustafa Tolba, the former UNEP executive director, told Al Jazeera that he discovered the firms were set up as fictitious companies by larger industrial firms to dispose of hazardous waste. "At the time, it felt like we were dealing with the Mafia, or some sort of organised crime group, possibly working with these industrial firms," he said. Nations have found it difficult to tacklethe problem of piracy [AFP]"It was very shady, and quite underground, and I would agree with Ould-Abdallah’s claims that it is still going on... Unfortunately the war has not allowed environmental groups to investigate this fully." The Italian mafia controls an estimated 30 per cent of Italy's waste disposal companies, including those that deal with toxic waste. In 1998, Famiglia Cristiana, an Italian weekly magazine, claimed that although most of the waste-dumping took place after the start of the civil war in 1991, the activity actually began as early as 1989 under the Barre government. Beyond the ethical question of trying to secure a hazardous waste agreement in an unstable country like Somalia, the alleged attempt by Swiss and Italian firms to dump waste in Somalia would violate international treaties to which both countries are signatories. Legal ramifications Switzerland and Italy signed and ratified the Basel Convention on the Control of Transboundary Movements of Hazardous Wastes and their Disposal, which came into force in 1992. EU member states, as well as 168 other countries have also signed the agreement. The convention prohibits waste trade between countries that have signed the convention, as well as countries that have not signed the accord unless a bilateral agreement had been negotiated. It is also prohibits the shipping of hazardous waste to a war zone. Abdi Ismail Samatar, professor of Geography at the University of Minnesota, told Al Jazeera that because an international coalition of warships has been deployed to the Gulf of Aden, the alleged dumping of waste must have been observed. Environmental damage "If these acts are continuing, then surely they must have been seen by someone involved in maritime operations," he said. "Is the cargo aimed at a certain destination more important than monitoring illegal activities in the region? Piracy is not the only problem for Somalia, and I think it's irresponsible on the part of the authorities to overlook this issue." Mohammed Gure, chairman of the Somalia Concern Group, said that the social and environmental consequences will be felt for decades. "The Somali coastline used to sustain hundreds of thousands of people, as a source of food and livelihoods. Now much of it is almost destroyed, primarily at the hands of these so-called ministers that have sold their nation to fill their own pockets." Ould-Abdallah said piracy will not prevent waste dumping. "The intentions of these pirates are not concerned with protecting their environment," he said. "What is ultimately needed is a functioning, effective government that will get its act together and take control of its affairs." Source: Al Jazeera by Najad Abdulla

nuqaba' trainin camp 19-21/4/09 am i ready to change?

time aku trima pelawaan ustaz ismail tuk p camp ni niat aku 3 jer kut nak update info sal latest procedure halaqah alhamdulillah smua info tu da dpt upgrade nak pandang2 jeling2 laki handsome alhamdulillah aku enjoy nikmat tu nak enjoy coz da abes final alhamdulillah tercapai gak hajat tu... dan ada satu hikmah besar yang aku tak terfikir akn menjadi titik penting reformasi dalam hidup aku yang membuatkan aku terfikir tuk resign kerana dri yg serba serbi kurang... seblum p camp ni aku rasa aku da ok maksud aku ilmu agama yg aku ada n ibadat yg aku perform kira tahap B after balik dari camp ni aku rasa kosong rasa ilmu agama yang aku ada ibadah yg aku perform mcm gred E jer or cud be worse! aku rasa malu sangat rasa tak layak tuk jd naqibah naqibah lain smua bagus2 aku rasa malu nak begaul ngan diorang rasa macam tersisih sangat walaupun tidak disisihkan... smua bertitik tolak dari kejadian pada mlm terakhir ktorang kat camp tu tak perlu aku citer apa yg berlaku kesimpulannya andai kejadian tersebut ibarat kedatangan Izrail tuk mencabut nyawa aku bersediakah aku???!!!! bila aku sedar akan kekurangan tersebut aku bertekad aku perlu berubah aku pikir nak mula ngan perkara simple dulu tapi tak semudah yg aku sangkakan..... susah nyer nak tido awal tuk bangun solat subuh di awal waktu sebab da biasa tido kul 2-3 pg susah jugak nak stay up after subuh kerana pintu keberkatan terbuka luas time tu kerana da biasa tdo balik tak kira matahari da naik ke belum susah sgt nak tinggalkan music2 & movies/ series yang menghiburkan dan melalaikan supaya hati kembali jernih, putih susah benar nak mkn hanya ketika lapar dan berenti sebelum kenyang agar badan jadi ringan tuk melakukan ibadah benarlah sabda Rasulullah S.A.W. jihad melawan hawa nafsu tu jihad akbar!

when i reach 23...

pape jer org panggil kak slalu rasa tak puas ati cozaku slalu rasa lebih muda lg cam 17 tahun ke... baru sebaya cam david archuleta hhehe...!! dulu slalu ngintai dak2 laki balik skolah skang da x boleh nampak jambu sangat diorang tu bila kat iium aku cuci mata tgk lecturer or few hot seniors coz yang junior or same batch ramai gak yg beringus lg. jangan mara a... so what to do at this age? buat ibadah n enjoy idup sepuasnya! coz makin tambah usia makin pendek la umur....

coming soon... law school

law school ialah blog series... simply bcoz aku xde bajet nak buat telemovie or tv series... cerita nyer sal aeykol... faculty of law kat iium/uia ada cerita benar dan rekaan semata-mata! tujuannya... nak share jatuh bangun! susah senang! dan turun naik! sebagai salah sorang community aeycol... dibintangi oleh/ starring..... jeng jeng jeng.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! watak utama (7) 1. adik bunga kakak dia nama bunga nakal dan gila2 cket! watak ni ada offer kat reese weetherspoon... tapi dia tolak coz ada scene dia tak leh makan guna garpu.... 2. han jian di dak korea celup... asalnya nak offer kat song hye kyo tp x jadi coz budak ni offer nak join... dia fanatik gler citer dari korea gi pun x yah byr dia pro bono jer! 3. anne manja mulanya nak bagi kat anne hathaway tp dia x brapa disukai oleh adik bunga... so amek la anne menje yg agak pemalu... diluar jer key! betul ke tak korang nilai sendiri 4. mawar beduri aku tepikir nak amek bawang merah (nia ramadani) tapi si mawar beduri lebih berbakat... khabarnya ada darah indonesia sukar didekati tapi kalau da lekat susah la nak cabut duri slain tu ... dia leader kpd hunters for cute and hot guys 5. merpati putih watak ni inspired by lagu oag tapi dia x la seputih merpati putih equal la ngan merpati klabu tp sifat dia sebijik cam merpati jinak jer nampak try tangkap tgk mesti dapat bulu jer! kira betuah la dapat bulu... in real life habuk pun tak dapat tau sometimes dia cam naive... tp miang cket terutama kala malam bulan mengambang! (lain2 watak utama korang kenal pasti sendiri k) watak sampingan (bil to be det) 1. lelaki idaman punya susuk tubuh tak sehebat matt damon punyer ketinggian tak seperti nicolas cage tapi...punyer senyuman semanis hugh jackman! se cute kevin BAS! se kacak george clooney! and many more...! (watak seterusnyer boleh cari kat lam series ni nnti. arachi?)

student uia follower terawal fowfoww

agak surprise! aku terharu sangat- sangat belum pun sempat tulis pape blog aku da follower terima kasih pada dak uia dua orang tu teruskan bersama fowfoww korang pasti akan riang gumbira

finally fowfoww is created

da lama dah... aku plan nak create fowfoww rini sempat luang masa gak hopefully fowfoww di gemari ramai cam mc d or key ef see tapi aku lagi suka kalau fowfoww penuh pengunjung cam kat pasar malam... hehehe...